Start at Part 1
If you’re just coming in from somewhere else, please start at Part 1 of this story.
They asked me to write two letters. These letters will do amazing things to show you how special you are. I know this may sound corny, but you just have to trust me! I’m seriously not a dramatic person, and this changed my life.
The Second Letter
As I mentioned, I was in a very bad marriage when I wrote my letters. I didn’t value myself enough to make changes. The point of the first letter is to tell someone you love dearly how valuable they are, and what you hope for them in the future. The point of the second letter is to tell YOU how valuable you are, from someone else’s perspective.
In section 2 I shared my letter to my niece, with my hopes and dreams for her. I showed her through my eyes how valuable her life is. And, how worthy she is of happiness.
The second letter should be written to YOU from someone who loved you more than life itself. I’m talking about your parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent — someone who cares/cared for you and/or was a caretaker for you, at least in part. The second letter should be written from anyone from that perspective. Maybe it’s your mom. My mom is easily the single-most amazing person alive today. Seriously, I strive to be more like her every day. You have to write this letter to you from someone else, which is why you wrote the first letter – to put you in the right perspective.
For my second letter, I wrote to me “from” my great grandma. She was someone who loved me dearly, had given me advice about my life. Even though she had died years before, I thought about what she would have wanted for me. I wrote to “me” about how much I meant to her. My great grandma was an angel in a hard working, simple woman’s clothes. She was even my mom’s favorite! I think it’s safe to say she was everyone’s favorite! Having lost her second child in infancy to pneumonia, my great grandma stepped in years later when I became sick with pneumonia at about a year old. She offered to take care of me when my mom worked. Talk about luck!! She was my favorite person in the universe. And, she thought I was someone special. She had that uncanny grandma ability to make everyone feel like her favorite. And, they were!! So, my second letter was from my great grandma. In it, I talked about what I thought she might have wanted for me. Since she had died years before, I had to guess. The letter was “from her” to me, even though I wrote it.
Here’s my second letter that I wrote to me from my grandma:
I’m writing this letter to you in hopes you will see not only how much I love you, but why. Don’t see my love for you as something I give, see it as something you deserve to receive. I love you not because of me, but because of you.
First, and most importantly, I hope you’ll find happiness and strength inside yourself. You are so much fun to be around. I’m so glad that you come to my house to spend time with me every day! You are curious and genuine. You have a tender heart that I wish I could protect against the world. But, I know that like I’ve learned in my long life — you too will learn from your mistakes, and that will make you stronger. I pray that it won’t make you bitter.
Live your life without regret. That doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes, it means finding the good in them and learning from them. And then forgiving yourself.
Believe in yourself. And, when you don’t, remember that I believe in you.
Love with your whole heart and never apologize for it. And, don’t be afraid to show it.
Be good to people. Your words are powerful. You are a leader, and you have the ability to hurt people’s feelings. Choose not to.
When you’re wrong, say you’re sorry and don’t do it again. And, next time try not to do things like that in the first place.
Prioritize your life. Work hard and make time for the important things, like your faith, family and friends.
All my love,
Great Grandma Tina
In conclusion, by first writing to my niece I could get to a place where I was thinking about the hopes and dreams of a future for a beloved child in my life. Then writing from the perspective of someone for whom I was the child, with the same loving voice, I was able to put MYSELF in the picture as someone who is truly valuable and valued.
It was then that I realized, as the exercise wanted me to, that in fact someone had regarded me as highly as I regarded these two loves of my life. If I was also worthy in their eyes, why could I not see my own worth?! Why had I allowed myself not to be valued by my own husband. And, how little did I think of all those who loved me to allow myself to be so miserable?!
It was then that I found the strength to stand up for myself, the way that I stand up for those I love on a regular basis.
I urge you to do this exercise. Please start at part 1, read through the whole thing and do it for yourself!
Find the strength to take care of YOU the way you take care of everyone around you!
YOU are worthy. You are lovable. Take care of yourself too!!
Wendy aka Gimmie