What to Serve at Your Next Party | Humor
Need an idea of what to serve at your next party? Look no further! I came up with this funny list of suggested servings about 15 years ago for my friend. Her man totally dumped on her and she was devastated. She called me, crying so hard I couldn’t figure out who it was let alone what she was saying!! So, I told her to come to my house and we’d have fun. I thought to myself, “what can I serve for this?” and the What to Serve list was born.
I hope it makes you smile, and helps you remember to celebrate life’s milestones! Make each day legen…. wait for it… dary!
Please keep in mind it’s meant to be FUNNY. It’s not meant to make light of any tragedy. It’s meant to be funny. Period. I apologize in advance if you are easily offended. In that case, this might not be the list for you. Please feel free to skip it. 😉
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What to serve at your next party
[vtftable ]
Event;;; Beverage ;;; Appetizers;nn;
Break up;;; Flavored, clear liquor;;;Cookie dough;nn;
Let’s just be friends;;;Margaritas, piña coladas, (any exotic frozen drink);;;Nachos;nn;
Let’s see others;;;Dark liquor;;;Exotic & somewhat smelly foods;nn;
Engagement*;;;Dark liquor;;;Exotic & somewhat smelly foods;nn;
Wedding;;;Keg (beer), well drinks;;;Stale cake;nn;
Won lottery;;;Champagne (Dom Perignion);;;Lobster bisque, fish eggs;nn;
We’re poor;;;Mad Dog or Malt Liquor;;;Potluck, host serves ramen-noodle casserole;nn;
House warming;;;See “we’re poor”;;;See “we’re poor”;nn;
Pregnancy… ;;; ;;; ;nn;
(if planned);;;Sparkling cider, White Russians;;; Cigars, ice cream & ice shavings;nn;
(if unplanned);;;Jack Daniels, Jaggermeister shots;;;Marijuana, LSD;nn;
Graduation (any educational institution);;;Wapatoolie, sale beer, misc.;;;Prescription drugs;nn;
Anniversary (depends on year);;; ;;; ;nn;
(1-3);;;Mixed fruity drinks;;;Leftovers from wedding reception;nn;
(4-8);;;Hard liquor mixed heavy;;;Leftovers from wedding reception, hand out airplane sickness bags with rice;nn;
(9-19);;;Full no-host bar;;;Olive Garden, separate checks;nn;
(20+);;;Anything involving prune juice;;;Potluck;nn;
Sympathy (depends on tragedy);;; ;;; ;nn;
[Death];;; ;;; ;nn;
Close friend/family;;;Dark liquor;;;Anything catered;nn;
Acquaintance;;;Mint liqueurs;;;Dominos delivery;nn;
Loathed person;;;Champagne;;;Jolly ranchers;nn;
Wound inflicted by host;;;Shots of any grain alcohol;;;Claim Jumpers “take out” served in doggy bags;nn;
Complications from sex change;;;Jell-O Shots;;;Silicone casserole;nn;
[War];;;Mixed well drinks;;;Indigenous foods of country under attack;nn;
[Broken nail];;;Rum cake;;;Rum cake;nn;
[Favorite sitcom cancelled];;;Malt liquor shots consumed in rapid succession;;;TV dinners;nn;
[Loss of pet];;;Wine coolers;;;Replace paté with Alpo;nn;
[/vtftable]
*similar to the “let’s see others” because, let’s face it, you’re almost married and this stuff happens!!