How to Successfully Get Through a Break Up
So, this is a bit of a change from what I normally do here at Gimmie. But, over the years I’ve gotten to know fans and fellow bloggers and I realized that many don’t know how to love themselves. People in bad or abusive relationships often don’t know how to stop the pattern of being attracted to someone who won’t treat them right. The answer lies inside yourself.
Years ago I got married in a beautiful ceremony, outside at a park in my hometown. It was an amazing day. Not everything went right, but everything was perfect. Mostly because my family and friends were there for me. Everyone pitched in; everyone came. It was the best day of my life up to that point.
We were married for 10 years. Then, my relationship… my marriage, started to fall apart. Turns out it wasn’t nearly as strong as I thought. I didn’t have children in my first marriage, because he was never ready to grow up or take that kind of responsibility. I’ve wanted children since… forever. His drug use had spiraled out of control, and there was just nothing to salvage, yet I hung on way too long. I was afraid of losing my failed marriage, my drug-addicted husband, and my dream of Happily Ever After.
So, here’s what I did to get through my breakup:
- Write two letters that you won’t send. Click the link to read my letters and why everyone needs to do this! This was the turning point for me to learn how to love myself. Self love is what is missing from most people’s relationships. I wrote one letter to my niece, and one letter from my great grandma to me. The letter to my niece, who was a child in my life that I loved and protected. I wrote the letter to her, urging her to take care of herself. Love herself. Know that she’s amazing and worthy of being treated right by whomever she chooses in a partner. I meant every word. Then I wrote a letter TO ME from my great grandma who had passed away. She was my favorite, and we were very close. In that letter “she told me” almost the same thing I’d told my niece. She urged me to remember that I was her little girl. I was lovable and worthy! She believed that I was amazing, beautiful and deserved to be treated that way. I believed her.
- Listen to music. Like Ally McBeal would tell you, everyone needs a breakup theme song. There are a whole slew of “pick me up” songs, “breakup songs,” even songs dedicated to being addicted to something. When you’re separating from something familiar, you need to add color to an otherwise gray, drab world. For me, music was key.
- Reconnect with old friends. Nothing says “I’m in a relationship” like forgetting your friends. Find them and let them remind you what a wonderful person you are!